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Romeo’s Manic Love
John Alan Lee, a 20th century
psychologist, studied the types of love seen in both fiction and non-fiction
sources. In 1978, he wrote a book (The
Colours of Love) that categorized love into six different types: storge
(life-long friends), agape (completely selfless), mania (obsessive and
intensely dependent), pragma (practicality), eros (sexuality and romance), and
ludus (entertainment). Although many Shakespeare scholars believe Romeo
to be an erotic lover, focused on intense amorous feelings and the more
physical side of romance, I argue that he is, in fact, a manic lover, as
evidenced by his obsession with both Rosaline and Juliet, the haste with which
he approaches his emotions and his relationship with Juliet, and his depression
and immediate suicide when he believed her to be dead.
In
the beginning of the play, we see Romeo pining over the object of his
affection, Rosaline, who had previously snubbed his efforts to make her his
bride. Even before Romeo’s entrance, his father tells Benvolio of Romeo’s
recent depression: “Many a morning hath he there been seen,/With tears
augmenting the fresh morning’s dew,/Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep
sighs;/But all so soon as the all-cheering sun/Should in the farthest East
begin to draw…Away from light steals home my heavy son…” (I.i.134-140) Lord
Montague says, making it clear to the reader that Romeo has shut himself up in
his room and refuses to see the light of day. This instantaneous drop into
depression due to Rosaline’s rejection is a key aspect of manic love, as manic
lovers are often crushed by rejection, be it real or speculative. Romeo’s love
for Rosaline is not merely teenaged lust; it’s an unhealthy psychological
obsession that carries over to Juliet as soon as he sees her at the masquerade
ball. “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!” (I.v.54) he exclaims
upon the sight of Juliet. He continues to say: “For I ne’er saw true beauty
till this night” (I.v.55), although only a few scenes earlier he claimed that
Rosaline was the most beautiful woman he had and would ever see, saying: “Show
me a mistress that is passing fair:/What doth her beauty serve but as a
note/Where I may read who passed that passing fair?” (I.i.237-9). This quick
switch to obsession from his previous depression is a defining characteristic
of manic lovers, who typically go in a cycle of elation while in a relationship
to intense misery when out of one, then back to the elation as soon as they
find another object of interest.
Another
broad theme that encompasses Romeo’s love for Juliet is the reoccurring idea of
haste. Romeo is hasty about everything. He rushes through his courtship of
Juliet, quickly gets married, kills Tybalt in a flash, is banished for only a
few days before he dashes back to the Capulet crypt, where he murders Paris in
the blink of an eye and then swiftly downs the poison in one gulp. Romeo’s need
to go fast in his personal life potentially prevents him from creating a more
lasting and healthy bond with Juliet or any other possible love interests.
Within the short time frame that the play takes place, Romeo does not get the
opportunity to acquire the level of personal intimacy with Juliet that is necessary
for a sustained and psychologically beneficial relationship. Rather, he speeds
up the process of courtship to only a few days, projecting his idealized image of
a lover onto Juliet. Manic love often is more of a reflection of the manic
lover rather than an interaction with the object of desire, becoming a selfish
need for approval based on one’s own anxiety rather than a mutual sense of
fulfillment from one’s partner. The haste with which Romeo approaches his
romantic life only amplifies his psychological need to be loved.
“Well, Juliet, I will lie with
thee tonight” (V.i.34.) Romeo says as soon as he hears the news of Juliet’s “death”.
This immediate drop into intense depression and talk of suicide at the absence
of his love is another compelling piece of evidence towards Romeo’s mania. When
only moments before he was dreamily speaking of her, saying: “How sweet is love
itself possessed,/When but love’s shadows are so rich in joy” (V.i.10-1.) he is
instantaneously thrown into a deep depression, completing the archetypal cycle
of obsession to depression in only twenty-four lines of text. Suicidal ideation
as response to rejection is a typical trait of manic lovers; even though
Juliet’s faux-death is not the typical rejection, it still results in the
absence of her affection towards Romeo. In fact, I even argue that if Rosaline
had accepted his proposition of courtship and marriage, he would’ve readily
committed suicide for her as well. As a teenager with manic love, Romeo needed
someone to be an outlet for his affections, and the first person to reciprocate
was Juliet. Manic love demands to be recognized, and that is why he fell so
intensely for Juliet and was not willing to live in a world where her death
means that she is no longer able to return his feelings.
Romeo and Juliet is often considered the
greatest love story of all time, but Romeo, through his actions and behavior,
is a perfect example of manic lover. From his obsession with his current object
of desire, to his depression when they cannot reciprocate in turn, to the haste
with which he experiences love, he clearly displays the important aspects of
this psychologically unhealthy state.
